Galatians 5:15 But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
17 For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
25 If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.
26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry,
For anger dwells in the heart of fools.
James 1:20 for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].
Colossians 3:8 But now rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene (abusive, filthy, vulgar) language from your mouth.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry,
For anger dwells in the heart of fools.
James 1:20 for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us].
Colossians 3:8 But now rid yourselves [completely] of all these things: anger, rage, malice, slander, and obscene (abusive, filthy, vulgar) language from your mouth.
Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
To Walk in Forgiveness
Father, in the name of Jesus, I make a fresh commitment to You to live in peace and harmony, not only with the other brothers and sisters of the Body of Christ, but also with my friends, associates, neighbors, and family.
Father, I repent of holding on to bad feelings toward others. I bind myself to godly repentance and loose myself from bitterness, resentment, envying, strife, and unkindness in any form. Father, I ask Your forgiveness for the sin of _...___________. By faith, I receive it, having assurance that I am cleansed from all unrighteousness through Jesus Christ. I ask You to forgive and release all who have wronged and hurt me. I forgive and release them. Deal with them in Your mercy and loving-kindness.
From this moment on, I purpose to walk in love, to seek peace, to live in agreement, and to conduct myself toward others in a manner that is pleasing to You. I know that I have right standing with You, and Your ears are attentive to my prayers.
It is written in Your Word that Your love has been poured forth into my heart by the Holy Ghost Who is given to me. I believe that love flows forth into the lives of everyone I know, that we may be filled with and abound in the fruits of righteousness, which bring glory and honor unto You, Lord, in Jesus’ name. So be it! Amen.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I make a fresh commitment to You to live in peace and harmony, not only with the other brothers and sisters of the Body of Christ, but also with my friends, associates, neighbors, and family.
Father, I repent of holding on to bad feelings toward others. I bind myself to godly repentance and loose myself from bitterness, resentment, envying, strife, and unkindness in any form. Father, I ask Your forgiveness for the sin of _...___________. By faith, I receive it, having assurance that I am cleansed from all unrighteousness through Jesus Christ. I ask You to forgive and release all who have wronged and hurt me. I forgive and release them. Deal with them in Your mercy and loving-kindness.
From this moment on, I purpose to walk in love, to seek peace, to live in agreement, and to conduct myself toward others in a manner that is pleasing to You. I know that I have right standing with You, and Your ears are attentive to my prayers.
It is written in Your Word that Your love has been poured forth into my heart by the Holy Ghost Who is given to me. I believe that love flows forth into the lives of everyone I know, that we may be filled with and abound in the fruits of righteousness, which bring glory and honor unto You, Lord, in Jesus’ name. So be it! Amen.
Scripture References:
Romans 12:16-18 Mark 11:25
Romans 12:10 Ephesians 4:32
Philippians 2:2 1 Peter 3:8,11,12
Ephesians 4:31 Colossians 1:10
Ephesians 4:27 Romans 5:5
John 1:9 Philippians 1:9,11
By Germaine Copeland
http://www.prayers.org/prayers/To_Walk_in_Forgiveness.asp
Romans 12:16-18 Mark 11:25
Romans 12:10 Ephesians 4:32
Philippians 2:2 1 Peter 3:8,11,12
Ephesians 4:31 Colossians 1:10
Ephesians 4:27 Romans 5:5
John 1:9 Philippians 1:9,11
By Germaine Copeland
http://www.prayers.org/prayers/To_Walk_in_Forgiveness.asp
by Gen. Chapman
Perhaps forgetting is not quite so fundamental as forgiving; for forgiveness is a grace, while forgetting is an art.
One must forgive to be good, but he must forget if he would be wise and useful and happy.
Yes, forgetting is an at implying practices just the opposite of remembering. Repetition, exaggeration, association, & imagination are all involved in memory methods.
But if you want to forget a thing, refuse to dwell upon it, minify it's importance, reduce it's rank, look at if from the perspective of things that really matter, make it inconsequential, finally isolate it, as the scientists do to disease germs in the laboratory.
Refuse to connect it with persons or motives, and positively forbid the imagination to dwell up it.
FORGET IT.
LEARN TO FORGET BY FORGETTING
FORGETTING IS AN ART
"No one else can make you angry. Circumstances don’t cause your anger. Anger is your own sin. David Powlison says our hearts are like sponges. If I squeeze a sponge and black ink comes out, it might seem that the squeezing caused black ink to come out. Yet I might squeeze another sponge and have clear water come out. So, it was not the squeeze that caused the ink to come out, but ink came out because that was what was in the sponge. The squeeze merely revealed what was there in the first place. Other people and circumstances can “squeeze” our hearts and if anger comes out, it is because that’s what was in our heart.
Anger is caused by our own unfulfilled desires." by Peggy Christensen
-Ephesians 4:30-31
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
2 Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
"In the Greek, the word for stronghold has two meanings. It means a fortress but it can also mean a prison. The difference between a fortress and a prison is that in a fortress outsiders can’t get in and in a prison, insiders can’t get out. The key to any fortress or prison is the walls of the prison. You don’t have a good fortress or a good prison without good walls. The key to a good stronghold is the walls. The difference between a spiritual fortress and a spiritual prison is this: In a fortress what is outside can’t get in. When you have built up walls in your life, you won’t let others who can help you get in. So you have a spiritual fortress in your life. You won’t let the preacher pray for you and lay hands on you. You have built a wall because someone or something has hurt or offended you. If it was a preacher that offended you then you think they are all bad and so you won’t listen to any preacher. It could also have been a close friend or family member that caused the offense. But because someone has hurt you, you build up an emotional wall and you won’t let anyone in. You won’t share your inner feelings with anyone or let anyone in on what is going on inside you and so no one can help you. It’s called a spiritual prison. One you have made yourself. Many people are spiritual prisoners in their minds because they are mad at someone and have been defiled by a root or spirit of bitterness."
2 Corinthians 10:5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
FORGETTING reminds me that , too, have flaws which others could emphasize.
FORGETTING enables me to be big and encouraging, not petty and negative.
FORGETTING frees me to live for tomorrow rather than be hung up on yesterdays.
Philippians 3:13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
A biologist one day observed an ant carrying a piece of straw that seemed a big burden for it.
The ant came to a crack in the earth that was too wide for it to cross.
It stood for a time, as though pondering the situation.
Then it put the straw across the crack and walked across it as a span.
The ant came to a crack in the earth that was too wide for it to cross.
It stood for a time, as though pondering the situation.
Then it put the straw across the crack and walked across it as a span.
WHAT A LESSON FOR US!
The burden can become the bridge of progress!
Matthew 18 : 31 “Then the man’s friends went to the king and told him what had happened. 32 And the king called before him the man he had forgiven and said, ‘You evil-hearted wretch! Here I forgave you all that tremendous debt, just because you asked me to— 33 shouldn’t you have mercy on others, just as I had mercy on you?’
34 “Then the angry king sent the man to the torture chamber until he had paid every last penny due.
35 SO SHALL MY HEAVENLY FATHER DO TO YOU 34 “Then the angry king sent the man to the torture chamber until he had paid every last penny due.
IF
YOU REFUSE TO TRULY FORGIVE YOUR BROTHERS.”
2 Corinthians 5: 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore CHRIST'S AMBASSADORS, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Bitterness is like drinking poison, and expecting someone else to die.
"Choosing to be bitter doesn't hurt the other person.
It only hurts those who come around you."
The Fruit of The Root of Bitterness
I take my subject from Heb. 12:15 which speaks about the “Root of bitterness.” These are tough times and sometimes in tough times, even Christians do not respond correctly to the things that happen to us. There is a progression that ultimately leads to a root of bitterness…and it is almost always in this order: HURT must be dealt with Scripturally or it will become ANGER. Anger must be dealt with Scripturally or it will become BITTERNESS. Hurt that is resolved in response to the truth of God’s Word will never become anger. Failure to resolve hurt by God’s grace will result in anger. When anger is not resolved, the next step is bitterness.
In almost 30 years of pastoring, I have seen the pattern and progression more times than I can count. A broken husband or wife will pour out the tears of brokenness and we will pray, share Scriptures, and encourage faith in God to work it out or bring them through. Many times we watch helplessly as they progress through each stage until it is virtually hopeless. The word “bitterness” is referring to “poison.” It poisons the spirit of the bitter one. Read Eph. 4:25-31 and notice v.31 In Acts 8:23, Simon the sorcerer was “in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.” “Gall”= bile=poison.
This is of utmost importance to understand: Many times the fruit of the root of bitterness is inadvertently directed toward God, blaming God and even taking it out on Him by forsaking Church, the Bible, Prayer, fellowship and service. I cannot tell you the times bitter persons have told me how they got out of Church and away for the Lord all the while justifying their actions not realizing they took it out on the Lord.
Now here are a few of the fruits of the root of bitterness:
- Defilement. Heb. 12:15 Our hearts and lives are contaminated before God. We become unclean before God. Sin abides in our hearts. James 3:6 describes the same truth concerning the tongue which “defileth the whole body.”
- Division is a fruit of the root of bitterness. It divides the bitter person from fellowship with God, family, friends and drives away the ones who love us the most. Cain in Gen. 3 is a good example. Surely he and his family missed the closeness of each other’s company all because he became bitter.
- Deadness to the Holy Spirit and the things of God is a fruit of the root of bitterness. Bitterness controls and consumes the heart and keeps the bitter one from sensing the sweet presences of God. Eph. 4:30-31 Shows that these things including bitterness “grieve the Holy Spirit.”
- Deception is a fruit of the root of bitterness. I have been amazed at the deception bitter people live with. Many times, they cannot see where they are wrong and they feel justified to be bitter. We never try to win over something we will not admit is true. I have had people say very bitterly, “I AM NOT BITTER!”
- Depression is a fruit of the root of bitterness. Bitter people have poison in their heart and the first victim of bitterness is the bitter person. They live in mental anguish and are consumed with the object of their bitterness. Not all depression comes from bitterness but all bitterness has a measure of depression.
- Delirium (madness) is a fruit of the root of bitterness. A bitter person carries a certain amount of anger into the bitter stage. That is why Eph. 4: 30-31 mentions all the other kindred attitudes: bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking and malice.
- Damage is a fruit of the root of bitterness. The longer a person stays bitter, the more damage is done in every personal relationship including fellowship with the Lord. The longer they suffer from bitterness, the more suffering they spread with their bitterness. It affects whole families, whole Churches, friends and chips away at the foundation of their faith.
- Distraction is a fruit of the root of bitterness. Cannot fellowship with the Lord without thinking about the source of the bitterness. Cannot pray without thinking about the source of the bitterness. Cannot listen quietly and contently to the Word of God without thinking of the source of bitterness. Cannot live a successful Christian life with the fruit of the Holy Spirit described in Gal. 5:22-23
- Finally and sometimes fatally, sometimes bitterness determines destiny, and instead of being broken and Born Again, the bitter one is bound in the chains of sin and sorrow. And even more sadly, many times the bitterness spreads to others and the bitterness of one keeps the other from coming to Christ. Let me explain. When a father or mother allows bitterness to take them out of Church, they take their children with them and away from the environment best suited to reach their hearts. (Romans 10:9-17)
If you are bitter you will not get better until you deal with the bitterness. As long as Satan can entice you to feel justified, he can keep you locked in the prison with the poison of bitterness. How do you deal with bitterness? Romans 12:9-21
JUST SAYING:
FOR THOSE WHO CONSIDER ANYONE ELSE AS AN ASS --
JUST REMEMBER HOW IMPORTANT AN ASS REALLY IS TO THE HEALTH AND WELL BEING OF ALL THE BODY FUNCTIONS.
1 Corinthians 12:21-25...
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, THOSE PARTS OF THE BODY THAT SEEM TO BE WEAKER ARE INDISPENSABLE, 23 AND THE PARTS THAT WE THINK ARE LESS HONORABLE WE TREAT WITH SPECIAL HONOR. AND THE PARTS THAT ARE UNPRESENTABLE ARE TREATED WITH SPECIAL MODESTY, 24 WHILE OUR PRESENTABLE PARTS NEED NO SPECIAL TREATMENT. BUT GOD HAS PUT THE BODY TOGETHER, GIVING GREATER HONOR TO THE PARTS THAT LACKED IT, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
FOR THOSE WHO CONSIDER ANYONE ELSE AS AN ASS --
JUST REMEMBER HOW IMPORTANT AN ASS REALLY IS TO THE HEALTH AND WELL BEING OF ALL THE BODY FUNCTIONS.
1 Corinthians 12:21-25...
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, THOSE PARTS OF THE BODY THAT SEEM TO BE WEAKER ARE INDISPENSABLE, 23 AND THE PARTS THAT WE THINK ARE LESS HONORABLE WE TREAT WITH SPECIAL HONOR. AND THE PARTS THAT ARE UNPRESENTABLE ARE TREATED WITH SPECIAL MODESTY, 24 WHILE OUR PRESENTABLE PARTS NEED NO SPECIAL TREATMENT. BUT GOD HAS PUT THE BODY TOGETHER, GIVING GREATER HONOR TO THE PARTS THAT LACKED IT, 25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
OFTEN THERE IS PURPOSE IN AN ASS SPEAKING
Balaam’s Donkey
21 Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. 22 But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. 23 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road.24 Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides. 25 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again.
26 Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. 27 When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. 28 Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?”
29 Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.”
30 The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?”
“No,” he said.
31 Then the Lord opened Balaam’s eyes, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell facedown.
32 The angel of the Lord asked him, “Why have you beaten your donkey these three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is a reckless one before me.[a] 33 The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If it had not turned away, I would certainly have killed you by now, but I would have spared it.”
34 Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned. I did not realize you were standing in the road to oppose me. Now if you are displeased, I will go back.”
35 The angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only what I tell you.” So Balaam went with Balak’s officials.
36 When Balak heard that Balaam was coming, he went out to meet him at the Moabite town on the Arnon border, at the edge of his territory. 37 Balak said to Balaam, “Did I not send you an urgent summons? Why didn’t you come to me? Am I really not able to reward you?”
38 “Well, I have come to you now,” Balaam replied. “But I can’t say whatever I please. I must speak only what God puts in my mouth.”
39 Then Balaam went with Balak to Kiriath Huzoth. 40 Balak sacrificed cattle and sheep, and gave some to Balaam and the officials who were with him. 41 The next morning Balak took Balaam up to Bamoth Baal, and from there he could see the outskirts of the Israelite camp.
THE MANUFACTURER'S HANDBOOK
ON RECONCILIATION
Romans 5
10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
Matthew 5
22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. 23 Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering. 25 Make friends quickly with your opponent at law while you are with him on the way, so that your opponent may not hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison.
Ephesians 4
25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. 26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity.
2 Corinthians 2
8 Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. 9 For to this end also I wrote, so that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things. 10 But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, 11 so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes.
2 Corinthians 5
16 Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. 17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, 19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
Colossians 1
15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. 17 He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. 18 He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. 19 For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, 20 and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven.
21 And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds, 22 yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach— 23 if indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, was made a minister.
TRY KINDNESS TO BE A WINNER
There was a sheep raising farmer.
Next to him there was another farmer raising wheat, children, and large dogs.
The dogs were scaring the sheep.
The sheep farmed did not know what to do.
He could shoot the dogs or poison them, be nasty to his neighbor, or even take him to court.
He prayed about it.
As soon as some new lambs were born he gave each of his neighbor’s children one of them as a pet.
They were thrilled.
Their father couldn’t allow the dogs to run rampant as before.
He restrained them for the sake of the pet lambs.
The two farmers became friends.
Kindness made a winner!
“WHAT BETTER WAY
IS THERE TO DESTROY AN ENEMY
THAN TO MAKE HIM YOU FRIEND”
IS THERE TO DESTROY AN ENEMY
THAN TO MAKE HIM YOU FRIEND”
Abe Lincoln
A Credo For My Relationships With Others
Dr. Thomas Gordon
You and I are in a relationship, which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with unique needs and the right to meet those needs.
When you are having problems meeting your needs I will listen with genuine acceptance so as to facilitate your finding your own solutions instead of depending on mine. I also will respect your right to choose your own beliefs and develop your own values, different though they may be from mine.
However, when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can change my behavior.
At those times when one of us cannot change to meet the other's needs, let us acknowledge that we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve each such conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other's losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine - neither will lose, both will win.
In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.
Dr. Thomas Gordon
You and I are in a relationship, which I value and want to keep. Yet each of us is a separate person with unique needs and the right to meet those needs.
When you are having problems meeting your needs I will listen with genuine acceptance so as to facilitate your finding your own solutions instead of depending on mine. I also will respect your right to choose your own beliefs and develop your own values, different though they may be from mine.
However, when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can change my behavior.
At those times when one of us cannot change to meet the other's needs, let us acknowledge that we have a conflict and commit ourselves to resolve each such conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other's losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine - neither will lose, both will win.
In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.
HE WHO FORGIVES ENDS THE QUARREL
AND
CAN HONESTLY SAY
I ACCEPT YOUR:
APOLOGY
YOUR HANDSHAKE
YOUR HUG
YOUR GRACE
YOUR MERCY
YOUR LOVE
2 Timothy 2 23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.
RECONCILIATION DAY
April 2
April 2
We All Need A Special Day To Forgive, Forget
Dear Readers: Since 1989, I have suggested that April 2 be set aside as Reconciliation Day. Everyone would vow to write a letter or make a phone call and mend a strained or broken relationship. It could also be the day on which we would all agree to accept the olive branch extended by a former friend. Life is too short to hold grudges. To be able to forgive can be enormously healing and life-enhancing. It's the best example of casting your bread upon the waters, and getting back caviar sandwiches. Do it today. Make it a real day of reconciliation.
ANN LANDERS Syndicated Columnist
ANN LANDERS Syndicated Columnist
Reconciliation [N] Reconciliation comes from the Greek family of words that has its roots in allasso [ajllavssw]. The meaning common to this word group is "change" or "exchange." Reconciliation involves a change in the relationship between God and man or man and man. It assumes there has been a breakdown in the relationship, but now there has been a change from a state of enmity and fragmentation to one of harmony and fellowship. In Romans 5:6-11, Paul says that before reconciliation we were powerless, ungodly, sinners, and enemies; we were under God's wrath (v. 9). Because of change or reconciliation we become new creatures. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" ( 2 Cor 5:17 ).
Reconciliation has to do with the relationships between God and man or man and man. God reconciles the world to himself ( 2 Cor 5:18 ). Reconciliation takes place through the cross of Christ or the death of Christ. Second Corinthians 5:18 says that "God reconciled us to himself through Christ." God reconciles us to himself through the death of his Son ( Rom 5:1 ). Thus, we are no longer enemies, ungodly, sinners, or powerless. Instead, the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit whom he has given to us ( Rom 5:5 ). It is a change in the total state of our lives.
Reconciliation is the objective work of God through Christ ( 2 Cor 5:19 ). But it is also a subjective relationship: "Be reconciled to God" ( 2 Cor 5:20 ). Thus, it is Christ through the cross who has made reconciliation possible, for "God made him to be sin for us" ( 2 Cor 5:21 ).
Reconciliation is also related to justification. God has reconciled the world, not counting people's sins against them. It is related to justification in Romans 5. We have been justified through faith (v. 1) by his blood (v. 9).
Reconciliation is also subjective in that the sinner is spoken of as being reconciled. It is a relationship that comes between man and wife as well as Jew and Gentile. If a person is about to offer a gift at the altar and remembers that he has something against his brother he should leave his gift and be reconciled first to his brother and then come and offer his gift. Reconciliation is something done by the one who offers it; it is not just something that happens to the estranged people. It is the cross of Christ that reconciles both Jew and Gentile. They are brought near by the blood of Christ. Because of this, Jew and Gentile have access to the Father by one spirit. They are no longer foreigners and aliens but fellow citizens with God and members of the same household ( Eph 2:11-22 ). Gentile and Jewish believers are reconciled to God and the middle wall of partition is broken down; both are brought near by the blood of Christ. They are all built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets with Christ as the Chief Cornerstone. This is made possible by the cross of Christ, but only appropriated when we make the cross and the death of Christ applicable to our life or our relationships.
This message of reconciliation or salvation that has come from God through Christ has been passed on to us. "God gave us the ministry of reconciliation" ( 2 Cor 5:18 ); "he has committed to us the message of reconciliation" (v. 19). The ultimate aim is that we are not only justified, but that we might become the righteousness of God (v. 21).
The whole message of reconciliation is centered around the love of God and the death of Christ. Paul reminds us that "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" ( Rom 5:8 ). This brings peace with God, access to God through Christ, rejoicing in the hope of the glory of God, making us rejoice in suffering, and having the love of God poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit ( Rom 5:1-5 ). We rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation ( Rom 5:11 ).
Reconciliation has to do with the relationships between God and man or man and man. God reconciles the world to himself ( 2 Cor 5:18 ). Reconciliation takes place through the cross of Christ or the death of Christ. Second Corinthians 5:18 says that "God reconciled us to himself through Christ." God reconciles us to himself through the death of his Son ( Rom 5:1 ). Thus, we are no longer enemies, ungodly, sinners, or powerless. Instead, the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit whom he has given to us ( Rom 5:5 ). It is a change in the total state of our lives.
Reconciliation is the objective work of God through Christ ( 2 Cor 5:19 ). But it is also a subjective relationship: "Be reconciled to God" ( 2 Cor 5:20 ). Thus, it is Christ through the cross who has made reconciliation possible, for "God made him to be sin for us" ( 2 Cor 5:21 ).
Reconciliation is also related to justification. God has reconciled the world, not counting people's sins against them. It is related to justification in Romans 5. We have been justified through faith (v. 1) by his blood (v. 9).
Reconciliation is also subjective in that the sinner is spoken of as being reconciled. It is a relationship that comes between man and wife as well as Jew and Gentile. If a person is about to offer a gift at the altar and remembers that he has something against his brother he should leave his gift and be reconciled first to his brother and then come and offer his gift. Reconciliation is something done by the one who offers it; it is not just something that happens to the estranged people. It is the cross of Christ that reconciles both Jew and Gentile. They are brought near by the blood of Christ. Because of this, Jew and Gentile have access to the Father by one spirit. They are no longer foreigners and aliens but fellow citizens with God and members of the same household ( Eph 2:11-22 ). Gentile and Jewish believers are reconciled to God and the middle wall of partition is broken down; both are brought near by the blood of Christ. They are all built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets with Christ as the Chief Cornerstone. This is made possible by the cross of Christ, but only appropriated when we make the cross and the death of Christ applicable to our life or our relationships.
This message of reconciliation or salvation that has come from God through Christ has been passed on to us. "God gave us the ministry of reconciliation" ( 2 Cor 5:18 ); "he has committed to us the message of reconciliation" (v. 19). The ultimate aim is that we are not only justified, but that we might become the righteousness of God (v. 21).
The whole message of reconciliation is centered around the love of God and the death of Christ. Paul reminds us that "God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" ( Rom 5:8 ). This brings peace with God, access to God through Christ, rejoicing in the hope of the glory of God, making us rejoice in suffering, and having the love of God poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit ( Rom 5:1-5 ). We rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation ( Rom 5:11 ).
William J. Woodruff
FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES (DEBTS)
AS
WE ALSO HAVE FORGIVEN OUR TRESPASSERS (DEBTORS)
additional teachings:
Judds Love Can Build A Bridge Lyrics
I'd gladly walk across the desert
With no shoes upon my feet
To share with you the last bite
Of bread I had to eat
I would swim out to save you
In your sea of broken dreams
When all your hopes are sinkin'
Let me show you what love means
Love can build a bridge
Between your heart and mine
Love can build a bridge
Don't you think it's time?
Don't you think it's time?
I would whisper love so loudly
Every heart could understand
That love and only love
Can join the tribes of man
I would give my heart's desire
So that you might see
The first step is to realize
That it all begins with you and me
Love can build a bridge
Between your heart and mine
Love can build a bridge
Don't you think it's time?
Don't you think it's time?
When we stand together
It's our finest hour
We can do anything, anything
Keep believin' in the power
Love can build a bridge
Between your heart and mine
Love can build a bridge
Don't you think it's time?
Don't you think it's time?
Love and only love
Love and only love
THE PAST IS PAST
Philippians 3:13
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward cal...l of God in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 43:18-19
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Ephesians 6:12
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 4:22
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
Luke 7:47
Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Philippians 2:1-30
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
2 Corinthians 5:20
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
Philippians 3:13
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward cal...l of God in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 43:18-19
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Ephesians 6:12
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 4:22
To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires,
Luke 7:47
Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
Philippians 2:1-30
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,
2 Corinthians 5:20
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
LIVE IN THE NOW
Words Once Spoken Cannot be Retrieved
author unknown:
As human beings, who interact with each other, it is almost impossible to escape from disagreements. All of us are different in many ways, we have our own way of thinking that makes us... see things differently that at some point in our lives, our thoughts and opinions would clash with somebody else's, which may eventually lead us to argument that we don't seek, and we often try our best to win the argument at all costs.
When I was young, as a youth, it was hard to control my emotion. I used to get myself into argument every time when I was engaged in dialogues that lead to disagreements. I would try my very best to beat my "opponents", especially when it was crystal clear that my thoughts are valid. An argument would usually start as a calm discussion, and when both parties refused to give in, the discussion would turn a bit warmer. Even though, at the beginning, I would not be thinking about getting too serious into the argument, but at one point, it would be too late to say "no" to the bad side of my emotion, which would start to take charge, and the argument would become hotter and hotter. My pride and ego would cheer me up and there would be no turning back.
Unfortunately, in my eagerness to win, sometimes I would utter unpleasant words, which would hit deep in the heart of the "opponents". It would act like a weapon of mass destruction used when the war of disagreements was taking too long to end. Eventually, nothing which could be proud of, would be achieved by both parties, except for regrets, frustrations and wounded hearts.
The after effect would be very unpleasant. Having the episode repeating in my mind while I sank deep into regret, was very painful. Why did I go to such extent? Why did I get myself into the argument in the first place. A word of sorry might never be able to repair a wounded relationship. Words once spoken cannot be retrieved, they disappear with the time they were said.
When I left those youth age, I changed a lot. I started to avoid getting into argument, unless when it is really necessary, when it benefits me or the person who argues with me. Even if I have to argue, I always make sure that I'm always in control over my emotion and let the argument be and ends in a civil manner. I'm more careful in putting my words. If I sense that my emotion has started to take over, I will choose to walk away from the argument politely. I don't care of loosing the battle without firing a single shot, as in actual fact, I've got nothing to loose. In fact, I've actually won a battle within myself, which is more important to me.
It is absolutely alright to speak out our mind and express dissatisfaction or anger but we must always try to do it in awareness and without loosing our temper, don't be carried away by emotion.
Words are so powerful. They can be so beautiful and helpful, but they can also be harsh and harmful. We are blessed with tongues that speak words. It could be words of love, praise, kindness, forgiveness and encouragement, and it could also be words full of hatred, disrespect and slander.
Words can weave together a broken relationship, but words can also create waves that separate two people. Words can heal a broken heart, but words can also hurt feelings. Words can transmit a wealth of information but words can also be deceiving. Words can praise a person but words can also assassinate a character. Words can bring peace and joy, but words can also set a blazing fire to harmony.
And all these words shall serve as an advice to myself first.
James 3 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
The Tongue Is a Fire
3 Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a [a]stricter judgment. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in [b]what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. 3 Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.
See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our [c]life, and is set on fire by [d]hell. 7 For every [e]species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human [f]race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both [g]fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce [h]fresh.
Wisdom from Above
13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and [i]selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, [j]natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and [k]selfish ambition exist, [l]there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [m]reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the [n]seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace [o]by those who make peace.
author unknown:
As human beings, who interact with each other, it is almost impossible to escape from disagreements. All of us are different in many ways, we have our own way of thinking that makes us... see things differently that at some point in our lives, our thoughts and opinions would clash with somebody else's, which may eventually lead us to argument that we don't seek, and we often try our best to win the argument at all costs.
When I was young, as a youth, it was hard to control my emotion. I used to get myself into argument every time when I was engaged in dialogues that lead to disagreements. I would try my very best to beat my "opponents", especially when it was crystal clear that my thoughts are valid. An argument would usually start as a calm discussion, and when both parties refused to give in, the discussion would turn a bit warmer. Even though, at the beginning, I would not be thinking about getting too serious into the argument, but at one point, it would be too late to say "no" to the bad side of my emotion, which would start to take charge, and the argument would become hotter and hotter. My pride and ego would cheer me up and there would be no turning back.
Unfortunately, in my eagerness to win, sometimes I would utter unpleasant words, which would hit deep in the heart of the "opponents". It would act like a weapon of mass destruction used when the war of disagreements was taking too long to end. Eventually, nothing which could be proud of, would be achieved by both parties, except for regrets, frustrations and wounded hearts.
The after effect would be very unpleasant. Having the episode repeating in my mind while I sank deep into regret, was very painful. Why did I go to such extent? Why did I get myself into the argument in the first place. A word of sorry might never be able to repair a wounded relationship. Words once spoken cannot be retrieved, they disappear with the time they were said.
When I left those youth age, I changed a lot. I started to avoid getting into argument, unless when it is really necessary, when it benefits me or the person who argues with me. Even if I have to argue, I always make sure that I'm always in control over my emotion and let the argument be and ends in a civil manner. I'm more careful in putting my words. If I sense that my emotion has started to take over, I will choose to walk away from the argument politely. I don't care of loosing the battle without firing a single shot, as in actual fact, I've got nothing to loose. In fact, I've actually won a battle within myself, which is more important to me.
It is absolutely alright to speak out our mind and express dissatisfaction or anger but we must always try to do it in awareness and without loosing our temper, don't be carried away by emotion.
Words are so powerful. They can be so beautiful and helpful, but they can also be harsh and harmful. We are blessed with tongues that speak words. It could be words of love, praise, kindness, forgiveness and encouragement, and it could also be words full of hatred, disrespect and slander.
Words can weave together a broken relationship, but words can also create waves that separate two people. Words can heal a broken heart, but words can also hurt feelings. Words can transmit a wealth of information but words can also be deceiving. Words can praise a person but words can also assassinate a character. Words can bring peace and joy, but words can also set a blazing fire to harmony.
And all these words shall serve as an advice to myself first.
James 3 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
3 Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we will incur a [a]stricter judgment. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in [b]what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. 3 Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. 4 Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. 5 So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.
See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our [c]life, and is set on fire by [d]hell. 7 For every [e]species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human [f]race. 8 But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; 10 from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. 11 Does a fountain send out from the same opening both [g]fresh and bitter water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce [h]fresh.
Wisdom from Above
13 Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and [i]selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, [j]natural, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and [k]selfish ambition exist, [l]there is disorder and every evil thing. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [m]reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. 18 And the [n]seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace [o]by those who make peace.
The Answer to Arguments by Max Lucado
Get along with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, forgive that person because the Lord forgave you. Col 3:13
Unity doesn't begin in examining others but in examining se...lf. Unity begins not in demanding that others change, but in admitting that we aren't so perfect ourselves…
The answer to arguments? Acceptance. The first step to unity?
Acceptance. Not agreement, acceptance. Not unanimity, acceptance. Not negotiation, arbitration, or elaboration. Those might come later but only after the first step, acceptance.
In the Grip of Grace (Max Lucado)
Since God has shown us great mercy, I beg you to offer your lives as a living sacrifice to him.
Rom 12:1
Resentment is the cocaine of the emotions. It causes our blood to pump and our energy level to rise. But, also like cocaine, it demands increasingly large and more frequent dosages. There is a dangerous point at which anger ceases to be an emotion and becomes a driving force. A person bent on revenge moves unknowingly further and further away from being able to forgive, for to be without the anger is to be without a source of energy.
- Hatred is the rabid dog that turns on its owner.
- Revenge is the raging fire that consumes the arsonist.
- Bitterness is the trap that snares the hunter.
- And mercy is the choice that can set them all free.
The Applause of Heaven (by: Max Lucado)
| Bitterness implies frozen form of latent anger and resentment |
Bitterness is a frozen form of latent anger and resentment. Bitterness grows out of our refusal, to let go when someone or something is taken from us. Bitterness is being constantly hurt by a memory and is holding onto a hurt until it has a hold on you.
Bitterness is the unhealthiest emotion you can have. When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Bitterness is characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes. Bitterness and resentment are both sinful and self-defeating. Perhaps it grows from the literal loss of a loved one or of a job, or income, or relationship. Sometimes it might be more subtle and grow from the loss of a reputation, or social position in a group, or control. Whatever the cause, bitterness grows out of unreleased loss. Whenever we lose something or someone significant, we often feel the following thoughts and emotions over a period of time as we grieve over that loss. The bitterness pervades everything. What happens to a person if he keeps bitterness on the inside for many years? What happens to him physically? Can he get physically sick? Suppose it is bitterness toward some member of the family. He kept it inside nurturing, he has not shared it. He has not defiled many people -- he has kept it down inside. When he keeps it inside for some years, he finally begins to hurt. THE CAUSES OF BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT
Bitterness and resentment makes us foolish. Bitterness provokes people to do stupid things and to say stupid things. Bitterness hurts us. Bitterness is an emotional suicide. Bitterness is drinking poison while hoping the other person will die. It is a very slow form of destroying one's peace of mind. It prolongs the hurt and it makes us miserable. Bitterness makes everyday life miserable.
Normally bitter people have an amazing memory for the tiniest detail, and they wallow in self-pity and resentment. They record every offense in their and are always ready to show others how much they have been hurt. Bitter people defend their grudges constantly: they feel that they have been hurt too deeply and too often, and that this exempts them from the need to forgive. Their hearts are sometimes so full of resentment that they no longer have the capacity to love. Too easily we become bitter. The thing with bitterness or resentment is, it takes control, and it consumes and robs us. Bitterness is more than a negative outlook on life. It is a destructive and self-destructive power. It can be physically as well as emotionally debilitating. Persistent bitterness and resentment makes one angry and confused, and leads oneself deeper and deeper into a jungle of despair. Bitterness and resentment is a frozen anger in latent form. Bitterness is a malignancy that makes a person extremely vulnerable to unwise decisions and destructive thought patterns that infiltrate and affect our bodies as well as our souls. It may aggravate or even cause physical problems. It causes fatigue, backache, ulcers, headaches, and drains our vitality. It is an oppressive and destructive emotion that is the root of resentment, anger, hate and other negative emotions, which when not dealt with may even lead to violence. Bitterness spreads easily like cancer, we become bitter towards other things and it can spread to those around us. It also comes out in different ways - the outworking of bitterness often include jealously, anger, division, dissatisfaction and hate. It makes us focus on what we haven't got, rather than what we have got. Bitterness is a trap that the devil puts out and is all to easy to fall down. It will always hurt ourselves more than it will hurt the other person. Bitterness and resentment is an oppressive and destructive emotion having its root in hate, which is likened to suicide or murder. When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill, however they can be dispelled with love. Bitterness and resentment starts growing from denial or rejection followed by shock and/or numbness, guilt, shame, depression, anger and grieving. These feelings are part of the normal grieving process over bitterness. Bitterness grows up when people linger over and cling on tightly to the anger and the depression of the grieving process. Bitterness and resentment is a cold and latent form of anger that shows itself through complaining and plotting and scheming and grouching. Many life events and their consequences are caused by bitterness, and that such bitter disputes fuel even more reservoirs of bitterness that last through generations, and continue to hold people in vice-like grips. Physical consequences of bitterness are such as headaches, ulcers, sleeplessness, heart-attacks, anxiety, fear, tension, depression. This, of course, doesn't mean that anyone with a headache or heart-attack is bitter, but prolonged bitterness will have physical consequences. The mental consequences of bitterness are continued hypercritical attitudes. Nobody can do anything right. There is usually anger and resentment with things doesn't go our way (and they often don't). Bitterness spreads and infects others. They either catch the critical and grouching spirit from the bitter people, or they decide to avoid their company. And, of course, the rejection caused by the bitterness leads to the people concerned feeling even more bitter, and so the cycle continues. We are responsible for what we do, say, think, and feel. Nobody can make us bitter. We choose to respond to situations in a bitter way. Naturally we can get rid of all bitterness, resentment, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice, if we wish to do so. What makes us bitter is our attitude towards people and circumstances. It's not the people or the circumstances. Some people are bitter because they refuse to let go by forgiving themselves. They often trap themselves in bitter bargaining. |
This link is to a lengthy Bible study on Bitterness
Dudley Do-Right was the hero of a segment of The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, a cartoon entertainment show from my youth. Dudley was a dim-witted but cheerfully optimistic Canadian Mountie who was ever trying to apprehend his nemesis, Snidley Whiplash. Dudley was romantically interested in the lovely Nell Fenwick, daughter of Inspector Fenwick, commander of the Mountie Station. Nell was a frequent target of the ne’er-do-well Whiplash.
As a cartoon parody of 20th century silent film and melodrama mixed with adolescent humor, it was harmless, and, if you like the genre, entertaining. However, when the victim (the lovely Nell), persecutor (Whiplash), and rescuer (Do-Right) roles show up in business, the amusement stops. Here’s how it plays out:
There are three psychological roles:
- the person who is treated as – or accepts – the role of victim
- the person who pressures, coerces or persecutes the victim, and
- the rescuer, who intervenes, seemingly out of a desire to “make things better” or help the underdog.
According to transactional analyst, Claude Steiner, “…the victim is not really as helpless as he feels, the rescuer is not really helping, and the persecutor does not really have a valid complaint.”
Every victim needs a villain.
To complicate things a bit, these roles are dynamic: when the victim feels hurt and seeks revenge, he becomes the villain (persecutor). The persecutor (villain) may be attacked by the victim or rescuer when they go too far, or may feel guilty, and thereby becomes a victim, or a rescuer. The rescuer feels the hopelessness and frustration of trying hard to “make things better” or “fix things” and engages in blame, or is blamed, becoming a persecutor, or a victim. You probably feel like you need a Playbill to keep up with who is in which role!
O.K., this is not genuinely responsible behavior. Each player is acting out their own selfish “needs.” The reason this situation endures is that each one gets their unspoken, and often unconscious, psychological wishes or needs met. They feel justified without having to acknowledge or deal with the broader dysfunction, or harm done, in the situation as a whole.
Some victims “go pro.” The Urban Dictionary defines “professional victim” as one who claims victimization whenever things don’t go their way. Some are burdened by perpetual victim syndrome. Those are the people for whom wrongs can never be righted. The perpetual victim loves to play on your sympathy and is ever attention-seeking even if the attention is negative. They love the attention that a life of drama creates for them. More on this in the next post.
It’s not hard to imagine the distractions this kind of drama can create in business. These behaviors, especially the victim role play, tend to be self-fulfilling. They can also be self-limiting in that they help keep game-playing people from higher levels in an organization. Some of the time.
So what’s a person to do? Two things: first, don’t play. The “game” doesn’t work if you don’t assume your assigned role. Second, someone has to be the “adult,” the one who responds to the “here and now,” dealing with things in ways that are not unhealthily influenced by the past. The idea and need is to see people as they are rather than to project a (or accept an unhealthy) role.
Let’s leave the drama to Dudley, Snidely, and the lovely Nell.
In Other Words…
“Every form of refuge has it’s price.” – The Eagles, Lying Eyes
“A man’s most open actions have a secret side to them.” – Joseph Conrad
“When attacked ask a question.” – George Kohlrieser, Hostage at the Table
“Delay is the deadliest form of denial.” – C. Northcote Parkinson
In The Word…
“Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.” – Luke 6:22
Prophetic Warning: This Destructive Spirit Is Rising Fast
http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/prophetic-insight/25073-prophetic-warning-this-destructive-spirit-is-rising-fast
I've noticed a not-so-subtle spirit rising in the body of Christ in the past few months. It's not-so-subtle to the one who is not under its attack, but its target often doesn't see the assignment until it's too late.
That not-so-subtle spirit is offense. I've been witnessing believers getting offended over slight corrections, unreturned phone calls and even the way certain people say "Holy Spirit." I've heard about believers getting offended over new relationships forming, being asked to sit out travel trips, or not being invited into a back room meeting.
A couple of months ago, the Spirit of God showed me clearly that these aren't immature isolated incidents. There's an actual spirit rising that's causing these unreasonable offenses. It's Satan's plot to divide believers in an hour of church history when it's more vital than perhaps ever before that we unite on our common beliefs.
Running Rampant in the Church
When I asked the Lord about this, He explained what is going on:
"A spirit of offense is rising and running rampant through the church. Those who are easily offended are candidates for the Great Falling Away. Those who cultivate and maintain an unoffendable heart will escape many of the assignments the enemy will launch in the days to come.
"For my people must band together in this hour and refuse to allow petty arguments and soulish imaginations separate them. This is the time to press into community and relationship and reject the demonic notions and wisdom the enemy is pouring out.
"The love of many is waxing cold. Brother is turning against brother and sister against sister—in My body. You must come to the unity of the faith in order to accomplish what I've called you to do in this hour. The time is upon you. The opportunity is before you. Lay aside the resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness and, as far as it depends upon you, seek peace with all men.
"Humble yourselves even among those who you feel are your enemies and I will work to bring reconciliation that sets the scene for unity from which the anointing flows. You need My anointing to combat the antichrist spirits rising in this hour.
"Many of My people are wrestling in their flesh, engaging in works of the flesh, and otherwise letting the flesh lead in battle—and they are battling flesh instead of the spirits influencing the flesh. This is the result of offense. Forgive, let go, embrace your brothers and sisters despite their flaws and sins. I have."
Battling the Spirit of Offense
John Bevere has a classic book about offense called The Bait of Satan. I'd highly recommend picking up a copy in this hour, especially if you find yourself getting easily offended.
How can you tell if you are easily offended? Here are some markers: you are quick to argue and defend yourself; you are quick to anger; you get your feelings hurt easily; you keep playing comments or actions over and over in your mind and growing resentful; or you don't want to talk to a certain person anymore.
JOIN JENNIFER ON FACEBOOK FOR SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY AND ENCOURAGEMENT. CLICK HERE.
Offense is dangerous because "a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Prov. 18:19). But love is not touchy or easily provoked (see 1 Cor. 13:5-6). We know that, "good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" (Prov. 19:11). And the Preacher offers some really good advice: "Do not give heed to everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you have spoken a curse against others" (Eccl. 7:21-22).
Ultimately, if you are offended the only way to escape that trap is to spit out the bait. Forgive. There are many, many Scriptures dealing with the forgiveness, which is a commandment, not an option. But here's one I'll leave you with: "You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord" (Lev. 19:18).
Walk this way and you will walk free of offense—and avoid it all together to begin with: "Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:4-7). Amen.
Jennifer LeClaire is senior editor of Charisma. She is also director of Awakening House of Prayer in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, co-founder of awakeningtv.com, on the leadership team of the New Breed Revival Network and author of several books, including The Next Great Move of God: An Appeal to Heaven for Spiritual Awakening; Mornings With the Holy Spirit, Listening Daily to the Still, Small Voice of God; The Making of a Prophet and Satan's Deadly Trio: Defeating the Deceptions of Jezebel, Religion and Witchcraft. You can visit her website here. You can also join Jennifer on Facebook or follow her on Twitter. Jennifer's Periscope handle is @propheticbooks.
The Miracle of Forgiveness
Mark 2:7-11 (Wey) "Why does this man use such words?" they said; "He is blaspheming. Who can pardon sins but One--that is, God?"... Jesus asked them, "Which is easier?--to say to this paralytic, 'Your sins are pardoned,' or to say, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk?' But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to pardon sins"--He turned to the paralytic, and said, "To you I say, 'Rise, take up your mat and go home.'"
http://www.acts17-11.com/forgive.html
Wonderful complete study on forgiveness AT ACTS 17:11 BIBLE STUDIES
Extra Stuff on Forgiveness | Acts 17:11 Home Page
http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/prophetic-insight/25073-prophetic-warning-this-destructive-spirit-is-rising-fast
I've noticed a not-so-subtle spirit rising in the body of Christ in the past few months. It's not-so-subtle to the one who is not under its attack, but its target often doesn't see the assignment until it's too late.
That not-so-subtle spirit is offense. I've been witnessing believers getting offended over slight corrections, unreturned phone calls and even the way certain people say "Holy Spirit." I've heard about believers getting offended over new relationships forming, being asked to sit out travel trips, or not being invited into a back room meeting.
A couple of months ago, the Spirit of God showed me clearly that these aren't immature isolated incidents. There's an actual spirit rising that's causing these unreasonable offenses. It's Satan's plot to divide believers in an hour of church history when it's more vital than perhaps ever before that we unite on our common beliefs.
Running Rampant in the Church
When I asked the Lord about this, He explained what is going on:
"A spirit of offense is rising and running rampant through the church. Those who are easily offended are candidates for the Great Falling Away. Those who cultivate and maintain an unoffendable heart will escape many of the assignments the enemy will launch in the days to come.
"For my people must band together in this hour and refuse to allow petty arguments and soulish imaginations separate them. This is the time to press into community and relationship and reject the demonic notions and wisdom the enemy is pouring out.
"The love of many is waxing cold. Brother is turning against brother and sister against sister—in My body. You must come to the unity of the faith in order to accomplish what I've called you to do in this hour. The time is upon you. The opportunity is before you. Lay aside the resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness and, as far as it depends upon you, seek peace with all men.
"Humble yourselves even among those who you feel are your enemies and I will work to bring reconciliation that sets the scene for unity from which the anointing flows. You need My anointing to combat the antichrist spirits rising in this hour.
"Many of My people are wrestling in their flesh, engaging in works of the flesh, and otherwise letting the flesh lead in battle—and they are battling flesh instead of the spirits influencing the flesh. This is the result of offense. Forgive, let go, embrace your brothers and sisters despite their flaws and sins. I have."
Battling the Spirit of Offense
John Bevere has a classic book about offense called The Bait of Satan. I'd highly recommend picking up a copy in this hour, especially if you find yourself getting easily offended.
How can you tell if you are easily offended? Here are some markers: you are quick to argue and defend yourself; you are quick to anger; you get your feelings hurt easily; you keep playing comments or actions over and over in your mind and growing resentful; or you don't want to talk to a certain person anymore.
JOIN JENNIFER ON FACEBOOK FOR SPIRITUAL COMMENTARY AND ENCOURAGEMENT. CLICK HERE.
Offense is dangerous because "a brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and their contentions are like the bars of a castle" (Prov. 18:19). But love is not touchy or easily provoked (see 1 Cor. 13:5-6). We know that, "good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense" (Prov. 19:11). And the Preacher offers some really good advice: "Do not give heed to everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you have spoken a curse against others" (Eccl. 7:21-22).
Ultimately, if you are offended the only way to escape that trap is to spit out the bait. Forgive. There are many, many Scriptures dealing with the forgiveness, which is a commandment, not an option. But here's one I'll leave you with: "You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord" (Lev. 19:18).
Walk this way and you will walk free of offense—and avoid it all together to begin with: "Love suffers long and is kind; love envies not; love flaunts not itself and is not puffed up, does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:4-7). Amen.
Jennifer LeClaire is senior editor of Charisma. She is also director of Awakening House of Prayer in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, co-founder of awakeningtv.com, on the leadership team of the New Breed Revival Network and author of several books, including The Next Great Move of God: An Appeal to Heaven for Spiritual Awakening; Mornings With the Holy Spirit, Listening Daily to the Still, Small Voice of God; The Making of a Prophet and Satan's Deadly Trio: Defeating the Deceptions of Jezebel, Religion and Witchcraft. You can visit her website here. You can also join Jennifer on Facebook or follow her on Twitter. Jennifer's Periscope handle is @propheticbooks.
Mark 2:7-11 (Wey) "Why does this man use such words?" they said; "He is blaspheming. Who can pardon sins but One--that is, God?"... Jesus asked them, "Which is easier?--to say to this paralytic, 'Your sins are pardoned,' or to say, 'Rise, take up your mat, and walk?' But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to pardon sins"--He turned to the paralytic, and said, "To you I say, 'Rise, take up your mat and go home.'"
http://www.acts17-11.com/forgive.html
Wonderful complete study on forgiveness AT ACTS 17:11 BIBLE STUDIES
Extra Stuff on Forgiveness | Acts 17:11 Home Page
Disclosure: Much of what is in my posts are things I have compiled through the years and I do not know if they have copyrights. What I do know about origin or website I have tried to always post a link to the origin. I do not market anything in any way on this blog -- I merely hope it will encourage and inspire others.
7 comments:
Yes, the love of God in Christ is almost unfathomable, and His righteousness truly reveals that our own righteousness is as filthy rags. Until we walk with Him and come to understand that His ways are not our ways and our thoughts are so different from His thoughts, we have not experienced what true forgiveness and real love is. The battle is spiritual, the enemy is spiritual and we do not war against flesh and blood.
THANK YOU BRENDA FOR YOUR EVER SO TRUE COMMENTS!
If I was a person who wrote riddles I'd ask this EASTER morning-- "HOW DO YOU SPELL RECONCILIATION?"
The answer would be:
"CROSS"
For it is at the cross that reconciliations becomes a reality!
GOD BLESS YOUR DAY!
PS: Brenda I really love your sweet heart and pure love for Jesus!
www.lighthousevision.blogspot.co.uk
I like very much your spelling of 'reconciliation'. I cried when I read your PS, do you know why? Not because of your kind words regarding my 'sweet heart'. I have to say that any sweetness in my heart comes from Him. I cried because every time I think of my love for Him, I think of what He has done for me (and all of creation) and how He has, and still is, changing me.God bless you.
APRIL 2nd is RECONCILIATION DAY
MAY IT BE FILLED WITH MANY RESTORED RELATIONSHIPS IS MY PRAYER!
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/328
DR> PHIL:
Making Peace with Your Past: Choosing Forgiveness
Are you haunted by something that happened in your past? Whether someone wronged you or you made a decision you regret, Dr. Phil says that forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn't mean that you approve of what's happened. Rather, it means that you're giving yourself permission to move on with your life.
•Forgiveness is a choice. Don't wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it.
•Don't give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you.
•Don't cling to negative feelings. Anger is nothing more than an outward sign of hurt, fear, guilt, grief or frustration. While the pain may never completely disappear, forgiveness can help you release the anger and bring those in your life closer to you.
•There is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious effort every day to forgive. To say, "I'm letting this go. I'm not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore." You can find closure in forgiveness.
•You can't change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn't receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now.
•Listen to your internal dialogue. What are you saying to yourself? Write them down without censoring them. Is what you're saying fair and true? If not, generate new ways of thinking. Someone may have said horrible things to you long ago, but it's possible you took over for them when it stopped.
•Consider what you need to do to get emotional closure. Maybe you just need a simple apology. Find your Minimal Effective Response — the easiest thing you can do to resolve your pain.
•Share your experience with others. Finding a lesson in what happened can help put the experience in perspective and your emotions in check. People can thrive and suffer at the same time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znUc_Kyu9as
Hebrews 12: 15 looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness spring up to trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;
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